Meh...

Nothing major is going on. The morning sickness is coming and going. I am getting fat! I am still really freaking tired. The only change is I am actually trying to be very conscious about eating healthier for the babies. For the time being I have been surviving on carbs.

The highlight of my weekend was going to see Hunger Games with the girls and then out to dinner. Everyone wanted Chinese (I did too!) but afterwards I had to admit to them that was the third time that week I had Chinese food. And if I am being truly honest it was 3 days in a row. Luckily the 3rd time was a different restaurant. The 2nd time I made Simon go in and get it. A pregnant American lady is kinda memorable in Australia.

Anyways I am about to embark on my last week of school before the Easter Holidays. Here's to a smooth stress free week!!!

9 and half weeks...not the dirty movie

Yes, the general consciences is I suck great big donkey dick when it comes to blogging right now. I never realized that I would be SO tried. I mean I have read about other people saying how tired they are and honestly thought " how hard can it be lazy fertile slacker?!". Let me tell you I have eaten my words. Even if I want to stay up because there is an awesome t.v. show on... I literally CAN'T! If I don't nap immediately after work I am asleep by 8 pm. How's that for being a loser?

Anywho...I am 9 and half weeks today (9weeks 5 days for those who care) and we got to see the babies! Apparently they couldn't measure the heart rate with the ultrasound machine he had in the room. It was pretty scary at first because I seriously had to pee before the appointment. There was no waiting and I didn't have a full enough bladder to get a decent scan. We switched to internal and breathed a sigh of relief. Everyone looked good with all the bit and parts they needed. Baby B, who we call Minibus, even waved at me. Simon says he missed it but Minibus definitely waved.

I am sure I will breath easier for the next couple of days until we get closer to next Thursday when we have our next scan.

More Scary Shit

Very sad news today. My sister in law went in for her 12 week scan to discover she had a missed miscarriage. My heart hurts for her beyond words. I can't imagine what she is going through.

At the same time I am scared out of my mind. We had an ultrasound yesterday just to make sure that everything was going fine. The doctor didn't officially measure anyone but we saw the heartbeats, they looked bigger, and were both the same size.

I keep trying to tell myself that every pregnancy is different and stay positive. Everyone keeps trying to reassure me as well and keeps telling me how confident they are the twins will safely make their way into the world in October.

All I really know right now is how much I love the babies and Wednesday can't get here fast enough. That is when we see the doctor again and have another scan.

The Drama Part 2

The worst part of all of this was the "we can't do anything about it" part. And as much as we didn't want to hear it...it's the truth. If my body wasn't going to hold the pregnancy it's not going to hold the pregnancy. Just typing those words are like knives going into my body.

So I put on a pad (YEA!) and went home to put my feet up. For the first time ever I didn't feel guilty about calling in sick to work. I tried to take it easy while being on the emotional roller coaster of the baby is in the right place and why am I bleeding. So I turned to my favorite place for answers... GOOGLE! I tried to cling tight to the 30% of women spot during early pregnancy and go on to have healthy successful pregnancies.

Then I stumbled across "vanishing twin". Sometimes early in a multiple pregnancy one of the embryos stops developing for whatever reason and the body naturally reabsorbs it. Hence the bleeding. I was convinced that this was what had happened. That would completely explain why the second "sac" looked weird. Rest...rest...pray...rest...pray...rest...WAIT!

Luckily, the bleeding stopped over the weekend and we got the results of the third beat(22,000). It was a huge feeling of relief but the waiting wasn't over. I was supposed to have a scan on Monday but due to the bleeding the Thursday before they didn't want to risk it by scanning me internally. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! We had to wait a whole another week to see what is going down in the uterus.

My symptoms started to get worse and that was insanely comforting. I had waited for this for a long, long time (normal pregnancy signs!!!). Morning sickness is not fun unless you add our cat to it. He is very happy to comfort you and cheer you on by sticking his head in the toilet with you. We possibly have the only kitty on the planet curious about puke.

Saturday Night the bomb of the century was dropped at our in-law's house during dinner. This whole time everyone kept asking us "when will you find out? Are you pregnant?". As we were just about to finish dinner, Mick (Simon's younger brother) says, "Are you pregnant?". We don't know yet came the standard lie. Then Mick says, "Alanna is 10 weeks!" I could have fallen off my chair. In fact I am pretty sure my mother in law pretty much did. We had to leave pretty much after that because a) the all the live long day sickness was back and b) I was losing my shit. Let's be 100% honest internet world. I am still not prepared to hear other people are pregnant even when I pretty much am. It's weird I know.

Are you still with me??? It's almost over. I promise.

Sunday, the day before my official ultrasound, the spotting returned. I am sure you can imagine the insanity that followed so I won't bore you with those details. We call this my second lot of bed rest. The biggest question was do I go to school the next day? I went even though I thought it was a bad idea because I knew the day would go by quicker since my scan was at 2:00.

Monday the 5th of March 2:00 pm is the magic moment we won't forget EVER. Not only was the first baby fine with a beautiful heartbeat but baby two was perfectly fine with an equally strong heartbeat to match.

That is pretty much the end of it or the start of it. I get scanned again this Friday and I am still just as scared for Friday as I was for Monday one. What if something has happened to one or both of them? I am trying to not let it bother me. Positive thinking has gotten us this far and I intend for it to take us all the way. And as they say that is the rest of the story.

Just in cased your worried that I won't be losing my tiny mind again, I can certainly guarantee it. There will be plenty more crazy moments to come as I continue to try and be "normal" and not over analyze every tug, twinge etc.

The Drama Part 1

I should start by saying that I am pretty psyched but also losing my tiny mind that I will jinx myself by telling the story on internet or pretty much telling anyone.

I will start back at the beginning...

I couldn't resist taking a home pregnancy test. I did manage to hang on until the Monday or Tuesday I can't really remember now. I woke up at like 5 in the morning dying to pee so I took the test. I left the bathroom and stood at the end of our bed watching Sim sleep and the clock tick past 3 minutes. Those were some of the longest 3 minutes of my life. When I picked up the stick I thought I saw a faint positive. I was pretty sure but then again who the heck knows because I have taken like 50 pregnancy tests before thought I saw a positive but we all know it was negative.

By now Simon seem to notice I wasn't in bed and started to wake up. He asked me if everything was okay and I couldn't resist. I HAD to ask him what he saw. He said it looked positive to him. I cried and he rolled over and went back to sleep. I just laid there staring at the ceiling with a million thoughts running through my head.

That was the start of the Great Home Pregnancy Test Marathon of 2012. I took one every morning and every night just to make sure everything was still there. By the time I was done I had taken over 12 home pregnancy tests. I'm not to admit how many I have actually taken but let's just say I need a 12 step program.

I had my first beta on February 13th with results in the 990's. I had sore boobs, I was exhausted beyond belief, and starting to feel a little queasy. Keeping the secret was hard but we also knew a lot could still go wrong. We repeated the beta on the 20th with results in 9,000.

Then a lot changed on that Thursday. I started spotting at school. There are no words for the panic that set in or the drama that followed. We rushed to the doctor's office and begged for a scan. They drew more blood and finally gave in to the crazy lady demanding an ultra sound. That scan was one of the best moments ever. Despite bleeding we saw one yolk sac that looked exactly like it should in a great position. Leith kept scanning and we saw something else but couldn't really be sure what it was. It didn't look like the first yolk sac and we would just have to wait. So started the first lot of bed rest.

My Big News

So I am pretty tried but I have been dying to tell the world a.k.a my small piece of the internet.

I am pregnant with TWINS!!!!!!

I promise to post the drama tomorrow.