Filling in the blanks

I thought I would start by filling in the blanks between 16 and 33 weeks and really there is nothing too Earth shattering to report. I continued to have ultrasounds every 2 weeks to check on the babies and of course my rockstar cervix. The babies were always healthy and the correct size and it took about a week for me to come to terms with the fact that I was having two boys. I was tired and the heartburn was awful but I was enjoying being pregnant. Here is some photographic proof of the tummy at about 19 and half weeks for your enjoyment.

If you have read any other posts you will know that just when I think I have it all together...I don't! At 22 weeks, Simon and I went out for dinner. As we were waiting for the table I was feeling really funny. I told Simon something wasn't quite right and we discovered that I was bleeding. We headed straight for the hospital both completely beside ourselves knowing that  if I continued to bleed or if the babies had to be delivered they wouldn't make it. I still had two weeks until viability and not very good odds viability. For whatever reason the bleeding stopped just as quickly as it started. We were on another two week wait and the emotions were out of control. That is when I made the conscious choice to stop blogging rather than just being lazy and forgetting. I was deathly afraid I would jinx myself.

Things went pretty smoothly from there. From time to time it seemed we would have a small scare and go for a scan but my cervix was always closed and wasn't shortening. Just to be safe Simon and I decided that when I was home...I was laying down. It seemed to be doing the trick. No gestational diabetes, no vitamin problems...really it was all going well....untillllll.....

STILL Not Prepared

Hello again. I turned into exactly what I hate! That annoying person who regular posts and then disappears for no reason whatsoever. Well, I am back because I'm losing my tiny mind on a twice daily basis now...at least! There is lots of tell and I fully intend to fill in the holes between 16 weeks and when the boys arrived on September 6th. I have a million things flying through my head on what I should write but I really can't put together a coherent thought right now. 

Nicholas and Matthew

2 Weeks Old

To say that we weren't prepared for what happened would be the understatement of the year. We weren't prepared for me to deliver at 33 weeks. We weren't prepared for Matthew to have under developed lungs and need to be moved to a NICU at another hospital. We weren't prepared for them to spend 3 more weeks in the hospital. We weren't prepared for me to continue to be sick after they were delivered. We weren't prepared for what we would have to face when we brought them home. I am not prepared to handle what I feel on an hourly basis. We are just taking it as it comes and trying to get it all together. Right now everything sucks and I really hate it but those two are the most wonderful MIRACLE in my life. 

So Not Prepared

So my 16 weeks post is in the works and we took "better" pictures this time. I might have to get a new photographer. How do I end up feeling fat and ugly when you are suppose to be okay being fat because you're pregnant?

Anywho...we had our 16 week scan today. The best news is that the cervix is killing it! Still long and closed according to them but starting to be a little shorter than last time. I will postpone the freaking out until 18 weeks. In the meantime I will continue to sit on my ever expanding posterior to be on the safe side.

We had a MUCH MUCH nicer and thorough sonographer this time. We didn't even have to ask to hear the heartbeats. She just whacked those babies up there first thing. I honestly couldn't believe how big they are. Before they used to get both in the same shot. NOT NO MORE! The other weird thing is that Baby B is hanging out about belly button level (It is not fun to clean the ultrasound goo out of your belly button).

But today's scan came with two big shocks. The first one was they aren't a week ahead anymore. They are only a day ahead or so. They didn't measure their lengths just lots of little parts but the computer spat out 16w6 days, which is tomorrow. So apparently despite their normal size I feel MASSIVE.

On a side note, I went swimming this weekend to try and relieve the back pain. The swimming pool's mascot is the orca whale. Simon just had to mention that I had come to the right place because these were my people.

Shock number 2 is starting to wear off a little. Baby B is pretty certain to be a boy. Baby A is likely to be a boy as well but it wasn't the best shot. TWO BOYS!!! TWIN BOYS!!! I will be in a house of all BOYS (including the kitty). We were so sure we were going to have one of each or possibly 2 girls. BUT BOYS???? It has taken us 3 years to agree on ONE boy's name. There is a very good chance they will be born before we have a name for the second boy. Simon is over the moon imagining all the sports etc. I'm kinda mourning the lose of the possibility of pink and bows and baby dolls.

I did actually break down and buy my first baby item since getting pregnant. I am still worried that I will jinx it. But we bought a little sleeper that says rock star on it.

15 Weeks

So I completely missed 14 weeks. Let's not dwell on the past or how bad I am at documenting my pregnancy....

As promised the worst picture in the world of my tummy (thanks a heap uninterested husband). I am going to glam it up for next time.

How Far Along: 15 Weeks and 2 days exactly

Size of babies: 4 inches long (roughly)they usually are about a week ahead of schedule and about the size of a navel orange

Gender: We still don't know. Last time Baby A played "Hey Mom, see my butt?" and refused to show anything else. Baby B had their legs locked together and bent back to hide their parts too.

Maternity Clothes: Yes. I am in LOVE with my maternity jeans. I not sure how I will ever give them up. I still wear some of my regular tops and jammie pants.

Weight gain: I think I am up 3 kg. Won't know for sure until later.

Movement: I haven't felt anything but pressure and stretching where they like to hang. Those don't count.

Sleep: Sleeping SUCKS! I toss and turn. My back and hips hurt and now my shoulders.

Symptoms: Headaches, Heartburn, Aches and Pains, Smelling EVERYTHING!...morning sickness hasn't gone away 100%. General pregnancy fun!!!

Cravings: No real cravings yet. It's still more of what I WON'T eat. We added apple juice to the list this week.

Best moments this week: My maternity clothes! I can't begin to express the love for sitting AND breathing. My mom starting to buy the BIG baby stuff like cribs and stroller. It's starting to feel more real.

Why do they call it Heartburn?

So yes, I continue to be the suckiest blogger ever. I am still waiting for the energy of the second trimester to show up. The throwing up has pretty much tapered off only to be replaced by HEARTBURN!!

Heartburn is not a new concept to me but pregnancy heartburn is a whole new world of pain. And the fun part is there isn't much you can take to make yourself feel better. I have tried "home remedies" like milk which work for 30 seconds and only seem to encourage the heartburn to burn my throat with revenge. I asked my friend who recently had a child what she took...Tums. We don't have them in Australia.

One night was particularly bad. We were sitting on the couch watching Mike and Molly. Suddenly, the burning pain came out of no where. It hurt so bad I turned into pregnant satan! I demanded Simon get off the couch and go find a pharmacy that was still open and get ANYTHING! It was that or I was going to literally cut my body parts out. He came back with Mylanta. I honestly was glad to have it but holy cow that stuff tastes nasty!!

Today we saw the doctor and he gave me a prescription for Zantac. Unfortunately, the mother of all heartburn is rearing it's ugly head right now and neither Zantac or Mylanta are doing anything. With that said I rather have heartburn for my lovely little babies than for no reason at all like before.

One Year

Wow I can't believe it's been a whole year. Sometimes it feels like it should be longer and I have been writing for years not just one year. Other times it feels like time has gone really quickly. Starting this blog has been an amazing coping mechanism for me as I travel this crazy path I find myself on.

Without a doubt I am the luckiest girl. Today I am 13 weeks pregnant. I would love put up a picture of my massive tummy but it's currently stuck on the camera. So for the very first time I get to do a weekly post!

How Far Along: 13 weeks- Last week of the first trimester- 1/3 DONE!

Size of babies: HUGE-7.25 cm long- about the size of a large peach

Gender: We don't know yet. Everyone keeps hoping it's one of each.

Maternity Clothes: Yes but no. I am clearly too fat to be in my regular pants. My maternity clothes are on there way in the mail but aren't here yet. So I had to go out and buy a couple things in a bigger size. It was very depressing.

Weight gain: NONE! I can't believe it.

Movement: No official moments yet. However, I feel lots of "stretching" where Baby A likes to hang out.

Sleep: Getting comfortable enough to fall asleep is my main problem if I don't pass out from exhaustion first. I have been only getting up once a night to go to the bathroom lately which is an improvement. Oddly, I get up about 4 am and lay awake for hours before I finally fall back asleep.

Symptoms: Headaches!!! Still trying to survive the all the live long day sickness.

Cravings: American food! I would pay about $1,000 to have my mom's chicken noodles.

Best moment this week: Getting to this week! Being able to start telling my close friends and extended family. Seeing the ultrasound last Tuesday.

Everyday Baby B is shufflin'

Today feels like the day we have been waiting for for LONGGGGGGG time now. I had my 12 week scan and NT test. We have pretty much been holding our breaths for this test. Nothing is official because it hasn't been matched with the blood test yet but the Dr who did the scan said everything looked really good and normal.

We took Simon's momma with us and I think she really enjoyed it. She is the last in the family and in her extended group of friends to be a grandma. She has been dying to tell but we haven't let her. She was soooo excited that while Simon took care of the bill she went outside to call Aunty Kath. I am still not ready to tell Facebook or lots of other people yet but I don't have a problem telling family anymore.

Who knew you could get such a kick out of watching your babies on a screen? Three adults were completely mesmerized for 50 minutes. We saw everything...including the kidneys. Baby B was his/her active self and the complete wrong way for measuring. Baby A was hanging out at the start with his/her little arms fold up behind it's head like it was in a hammock. Eventually A felt the need to get in on the baby party B was throwing. I really wonder if this "personality" trait will continue when they are born. OH and I almost forgot THEY ARE HUGE!!!! Apparently they are the right size but they are tall.

"Morning" sickness is kicking my ass. My current lists of food I no longer eat is extending to hot dogs today. Simon is getting much better about making sure I eat when I need to and eat decent food. And because I have always over shared...I now pee a little when I vomit. Sadly I can't do pelvic exercises because of preterm labour.

We finally feel good about the pregnancy. Oh yes a million trillion things can still go wrong and they might but we are going with the same positive attitude that we have had from the very beginning.

Simon is currently working on getting scan pictures up and pictures of my awesome fatness so I can start the "weekly" posts very soon.

Expectations

I have never been so excited to be 12 weeks pregnant! I realize having never been 12 weeks pregnant before this a bit of a stupid comment. But the fact is there were several times during this pregnancy that I thought we would never make it to 12 weeks or we wouldn't make it with both babies.

One thing I have realize is that my expectations of pregnancy are ridiculous. Well maybe ridiculous is not the right word. What I thought would happen and what is actually happening aren't lining up as nicely as I would have like.

Fortunately, I am slowly learning to let go of my expectations and go with the flow. Whatever I am going through is only for a finite period of time. This won't go on forever. Honestly, I don't mind if in the end I have 2 happy, healthy, take-home babies in October.

Despite the morning sickenss I am still trying to get as healthy as I can. Trying to remember to take the prenantal vitamins is another issue. I am planning to get into the swimming pool again as soon as my surgery wounds heal but not putting myself at risk for preterm labour. I know how important it is for me to take it easy on the weekends and at night because I am really determined to work until August.

Most important of all I AM going to do whatever it takes to keep my babies in until at least 36 weeks. What that might entail honestly scares the shit out of me! I am still afraid I am going to jinx myself. Somehow I constantly come across horrible stories of people losing their baby(ies) at 16-24 weeks along.

I will admit I am still afraid to buy anything (gender issues aside) or even open the door to their room. I was sooo excited to tell the world about them but now I keep feeling like we need to hold off. Somehow 20 weeks is looking really good right now. It won't happen but I will delay as long as possible.

So those are my random thoughts on pregnancy this morning while I lay wide awake watching the cat clean himself.

Two Things That Don't Match

Yeah, I am the suckest blogger ever!!! Do you all remember at the end of my last post that I was hoping for a stress free week? Well, apparently the universe need to put the smack down on those plans!

Let's rewind a week. We had an afternoon appointment the amazing Dr. Weston. Everything was wonderful and I graduated to monthly!!! appointments and he said we had the all clear to tell the world after my next scan. At 1 day shy of 11 weeks we were starting to feel good about it all.

Then at 1 am I woke up in pain. I thought I needed to pee and that maybe I just had some trapped gas. As a sufferer of IBS the pain wasn't all that unfamiliar expect for the location. I went to the bathroom...no relief. I walked around the house a little...no relief. I tried to lay back down but that just seem to make the whole situation angrier. At 4 am I had woken Simon up and we decided that work was simply not going to be a option. Pain aside I NEEDED sleep! I got up and changed my lessons plans to be friendly for another person, answered a few emails and called in sick. I thought perhaps it was easing up and I would be able to sleep. I crawled back in bed and began to cry. Now anyone with IBS or trapped gas will tell you you feel better after going to the toilet not worse. Clearly this was something else.

Panicked and scared we called Dr. Weston at 5 am. He wanted to see us that morning at 9 am when his office opened. He was sure I was going to be okay because I wasn't bleeding but just needed to be sure. Simon ended up calling his mum because he was scared and worried. Yes, he is a giant momma's boy but I completely understand. Wife is crying in pain while pregnant with twins...I would want backup too. The added bonus was she was able to drive us to the doctor's while I focused on not dying. We also figured out how to freak out an entire waiting room full of pregnant women.

Dr. Weston scanned the babies and they were fine (THANK GOD!!!!) but I needed to head to emergency because he didn't know if I had a urinary tract infection or if it was my appendix. Conveniently the hospital is immediately next store to the his office.

I won't bore you with all the details but we spent A LONG time in emergency. The pain would lessen and then get worse. They were very good about trying to keep me comfortable. The surgeon came to check me out and he too thought it was my appendix. WTF!!!!!!!! Insert major freak out here. Apparently, I was going to need surgery. There was no way around it. If it ruptured it would kill the babies and me. If we had the surgery there was a small risk of miscarriage. Dr. Cullen left to talk to Dr. Weston and that is the last we saw of anyone.

A couple hours later I was admitted to the hospital for surgery that night. I spent a couple of days recovering in the hospital and now I am home. I get to enjoy laying down and doing NOTHING. I can see this is going to be the theme of this pregnancy. I am completely okay with it. I can be still for 40 weeks if that means keeping my babies safe.

I also can not express in words how AMAZING Simon's family has been. I haven't been alone for a moment. Everyone is keeping me company, cleaning my house, keeping us fed and taking me to appointments.

We saw Dr. Weston again today and he is really happy with my recovery so far and how the babies are doing. I told him I was sorry we were being "those patients" but he seemed completely fine with it. Simon thinks it's probably nice to have something a little out of the ordinary.

We have discovered a few little funny things about our babies. One is always sleeping and the other is usually throwing a party in the womb. Generally it's baby B who is movin and groovin making it hard to measure or see the heartbeat. At the hospital it was baby A. They are also a little big for their "age". According to the book they were supposed to be about 1.6 inches and they were 2 inches. The ultrasound tech did assure me there were no horns and I wasn't gestating wildebeests.

So next week I will probably start documenting my MASSIVE girth in photos and have some scan photos to put up. I am sure the drama is not over with either.

Meh...

Nothing major is going on. The morning sickness is coming and going. I am getting fat! I am still really freaking tired. The only change is I am actually trying to be very conscious about eating healthier for the babies. For the time being I have been surviving on carbs.

The highlight of my weekend was going to see Hunger Games with the girls and then out to dinner. Everyone wanted Chinese (I did too!) but afterwards I had to admit to them that was the third time that week I had Chinese food. And if I am being truly honest it was 3 days in a row. Luckily the 3rd time was a different restaurant. The 2nd time I made Simon go in and get it. A pregnant American lady is kinda memorable in Australia.

Anyways I am about to embark on my last week of school before the Easter Holidays. Here's to a smooth stress free week!!!

9 and half weeks...not the dirty movie

Yes, the general consciences is I suck great big donkey dick when it comes to blogging right now. I never realized that I would be SO tried. I mean I have read about other people saying how tired they are and honestly thought " how hard can it be lazy fertile slacker?!". Let me tell you I have eaten my words. Even if I want to stay up because there is an awesome t.v. show on... I literally CAN'T! If I don't nap immediately after work I am asleep by 8 pm. How's that for being a loser?

Anywho...I am 9 and half weeks today (9weeks 5 days for those who care) and we got to see the babies! Apparently they couldn't measure the heart rate with the ultrasound machine he had in the room. It was pretty scary at first because I seriously had to pee before the appointment. There was no waiting and I didn't have a full enough bladder to get a decent scan. We switched to internal and breathed a sigh of relief. Everyone looked good with all the bit and parts they needed. Baby B, who we call Minibus, even waved at me. Simon says he missed it but Minibus definitely waved.

I am sure I will breath easier for the next couple of days until we get closer to next Thursday when we have our next scan.

More Scary Shit

Very sad news today. My sister in law went in for her 12 week scan to discover she had a missed miscarriage. My heart hurts for her beyond words. I can't imagine what she is going through.

At the same time I am scared out of my mind. We had an ultrasound yesterday just to make sure that everything was going fine. The doctor didn't officially measure anyone but we saw the heartbeats, they looked bigger, and were both the same size.

I keep trying to tell myself that every pregnancy is different and stay positive. Everyone keeps trying to reassure me as well and keeps telling me how confident they are the twins will safely make their way into the world in October.

All I really know right now is how much I love the babies and Wednesday can't get here fast enough. That is when we see the doctor again and have another scan.

The Drama Part 2

The worst part of all of this was the "we can't do anything about it" part. And as much as we didn't want to hear it...it's the truth. If my body wasn't going to hold the pregnancy it's not going to hold the pregnancy. Just typing those words are like knives going into my body.

So I put on a pad (YEA!) and went home to put my feet up. For the first time ever I didn't feel guilty about calling in sick to work. I tried to take it easy while being on the emotional roller coaster of the baby is in the right place and why am I bleeding. So I turned to my favorite place for answers... GOOGLE! I tried to cling tight to the 30% of women spot during early pregnancy and go on to have healthy successful pregnancies.

Then I stumbled across "vanishing twin". Sometimes early in a multiple pregnancy one of the embryos stops developing for whatever reason and the body naturally reabsorbs it. Hence the bleeding. I was convinced that this was what had happened. That would completely explain why the second "sac" looked weird. Rest...rest...pray...rest...pray...rest...WAIT!

Luckily, the bleeding stopped over the weekend and we got the results of the third beat(22,000). It was a huge feeling of relief but the waiting wasn't over. I was supposed to have a scan on Monday but due to the bleeding the Thursday before they didn't want to risk it by scanning me internally. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! We had to wait a whole another week to see what is going down in the uterus.

My symptoms started to get worse and that was insanely comforting. I had waited for this for a long, long time (normal pregnancy signs!!!). Morning sickness is not fun unless you add our cat to it. He is very happy to comfort you and cheer you on by sticking his head in the toilet with you. We possibly have the only kitty on the planet curious about puke.

Saturday Night the bomb of the century was dropped at our in-law's house during dinner. This whole time everyone kept asking us "when will you find out? Are you pregnant?". As we were just about to finish dinner, Mick (Simon's younger brother) says, "Are you pregnant?". We don't know yet came the standard lie. Then Mick says, "Alanna is 10 weeks!" I could have fallen off my chair. In fact I am pretty sure my mother in law pretty much did. We had to leave pretty much after that because a) the all the live long day sickness was back and b) I was losing my shit. Let's be 100% honest internet world. I am still not prepared to hear other people are pregnant even when I pretty much am. It's weird I know.

Are you still with me??? It's almost over. I promise.

Sunday, the day before my official ultrasound, the spotting returned. I am sure you can imagine the insanity that followed so I won't bore you with those details. We call this my second lot of bed rest. The biggest question was do I go to school the next day? I went even though I thought it was a bad idea because I knew the day would go by quicker since my scan was at 2:00.

Monday the 5th of March 2:00 pm is the magic moment we won't forget EVER. Not only was the first baby fine with a beautiful heartbeat but baby two was perfectly fine with an equally strong heartbeat to match.

That is pretty much the end of it or the start of it. I get scanned again this Friday and I am still just as scared for Friday as I was for Monday one. What if something has happened to one or both of them? I am trying to not let it bother me. Positive thinking has gotten us this far and I intend for it to take us all the way. And as they say that is the rest of the story.

Just in cased your worried that I won't be losing my tiny mind again, I can certainly guarantee it. There will be plenty more crazy moments to come as I continue to try and be "normal" and not over analyze every tug, twinge etc.

The Drama Part 1

I should start by saying that I am pretty psyched but also losing my tiny mind that I will jinx myself by telling the story on internet or pretty much telling anyone.

I will start back at the beginning...

I couldn't resist taking a home pregnancy test. I did manage to hang on until the Monday or Tuesday I can't really remember now. I woke up at like 5 in the morning dying to pee so I took the test. I left the bathroom and stood at the end of our bed watching Sim sleep and the clock tick past 3 minutes. Those were some of the longest 3 minutes of my life. When I picked up the stick I thought I saw a faint positive. I was pretty sure but then again who the heck knows because I have taken like 50 pregnancy tests before thought I saw a positive but we all know it was negative.

By now Simon seem to notice I wasn't in bed and started to wake up. He asked me if everything was okay and I couldn't resist. I HAD to ask him what he saw. He said it looked positive to him. I cried and he rolled over and went back to sleep. I just laid there staring at the ceiling with a million thoughts running through my head.

That was the start of the Great Home Pregnancy Test Marathon of 2012. I took one every morning and every night just to make sure everything was still there. By the time I was done I had taken over 12 home pregnancy tests. I'm not to admit how many I have actually taken but let's just say I need a 12 step program.

I had my first beta on February 13th with results in the 990's. I had sore boobs, I was exhausted beyond belief, and starting to feel a little queasy. Keeping the secret was hard but we also knew a lot could still go wrong. We repeated the beta on the 20th with results in 9,000.

Then a lot changed on that Thursday. I started spotting at school. There are no words for the panic that set in or the drama that followed. We rushed to the doctor's office and begged for a scan. They drew more blood and finally gave in to the crazy lady demanding an ultra sound. That scan was one of the best moments ever. Despite bleeding we saw one yolk sac that looked exactly like it should in a great position. Leith kept scanning and we saw something else but couldn't really be sure what it was. It didn't look like the first yolk sac and we would just have to wait. So started the first lot of bed rest.

My Big News

So I am pretty tried but I have been dying to tell the world a.k.a my small piece of the internet.

I am pregnant with TWINS!!!!!!

I promise to post the drama tomorrow.

There's More Drama

Uggghhhh!!!! I don't know what to do. I am afraid to post but I desperately want to. Let's just say we now OFFICIALLY have no clue what is happening in the uterus. There has been lots of dramas this past week. I was supposed to go see the doctor on Monday but because of the dramas they want to hold off!

Now I don't do well with the "hold off" concept. I WANT TO KNOW!!!!! The two week wait was the equivalent to the two month wait. Plus when you are waiting all you do is search the internet for answers. Then 98% of the time I scare the holy beejeezus out me. So I am pretty much trying to avoid the computer.

I have lost my tiny mind beyond anything imaginable. I don't know what to do or not to--OR how to feel! Pilates- good or bad? Oesto appointment because my back HATES ME with the fire of a 1,000 suns- good or bad? Do you tell the Oesto what is happening in the uterus without 100% certainty?

And I won't know for another WEEK! So I get to play out the unknown in my head a million different ways a million different times. I just keep praying for a happy, healthy baby in my arms.

So VERY close!

I am getting extremely close to having all the pieces fit into place. Unfortunately I have one more hurdle to clear and I promised Simon I wouldn't post until then. I might break down and post anyways but I really want to try and keep my word. My anxiety is taking me to brand new reaches of insanity.

Here is a random picture that are making me laugh lately! Enjoy or not!!

A quick update...

Please bear with me. Things are happening behind the scenes but the whole story isn't ready yet. I promise the moment the last piece fits into place that I will post the whole thing. This is definitely a test of my sanity. If something funny happens that is not related than I will post. Thanks for understanding.

Sorry

I don't have much to post. I am just trying to get to Monday when I have my first blood test. I'm having lots of mild to maybe moderate cramping. It has me completely freaked out. So far no spotting but this is about the time it all went horribly wrong. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET THIS WORK. LET ME HAVE A HAPPY HEALTHY TAKE HOME BABY.

P.S. I shall be peeing on a stick on Friday but we are going away until Sunday. Sorry to keep anyone who cares in suspense.

Tales From The Edge of Sanity

Tomorrow begins my first WHOLE week of work. I am determined to achieve a better work-life balance. One of the things I miss about not living at my parent's house anymore is coming home to find dinner ready to eat. I wish I would have known then what I knew now and I probably would have appreciated those dinners a little more. Who cares if its leftovers!

I should mention that I hate going to grocery store more than I hate making dinner. Mainly because I hate having to find a place to park. Everyone in there is as exhausted as I am. Usually there are several children who I am pretty sure want to be anywhere else than in the grocery store. Somehow I mindlessly wander from one end of the store to the other because I can't managed to grab everything when I go by it the first time. I always end up with something extra and usually forget something I needed. Going to the store 3-4 times a week is craziness!

I decided last night that I need to put a stop to the insanity. I sat down browsing all those food blogs I constantly look at and think "hey I should make that sometime" and made a dinner plan for the week. I am going to be sooo on top of all this! I could just feel the awesomeness radiating off me!

Armed with my list I braved the grocery store. HOLY MOTHER OF... Did you know that everyone single person in the neighborhood likes to shop at 12:30 on a Sunday afternoon? I didn't. Still determined I persevered. All was going very well... I wasn't forgetting things I wasn't grabbing lots of extra things. I came to the personal hygiene aisle. I needed soap so I had to go down the aisle plus being the negative thinker that I am I need to stock up on supplies for the return of the vampire uterus. The bonus was my pads were on sale but I think the checkout teenage boy looked a little nervous when he was ringing up 3 mega boxes of them.

However, in between the soap and pads are the pregnancy tests. The magnetic pull was sooooooooooo strong. I stood there in front of the pregnancy tests (plus 20 different types of condoms) contemplating what I should do. I have a couple boxes of E.P.T pregnancy tests at home already. But everyone seems to think First Response Early Results are the grand pooh-bah of pregnancy tests. Then there are the digital Clear Blue Easy with their lovely pregnant or not pregnant display. No over analyzing or attempting to interpret the faintest of little pink lines.

Now one of the blogs I read always waits to the First Response ones last because they pick up a pretty low level of HCG so if it's negative between 10-15 days past ovulation you usually aren't pregnant. I think I agree with her. I don't see or hear of that many people who had a bunch of negative First Response tests and later found out they were pregnant. Then like most people I am hoping to take a Clear Blue Easy Digital test to get that magic "pregnant".

Of course this is all replaying through my head as I stand in front of the display. And because I am planning on testing on Tuesday and I don't want to have keep making trips to the grocery store I am questioning whether I should buy the tests now. Am I going to jinx myself?? Would this just be a waste of money?? Will this just make me go home and start peeing on pregnancy test sticks? Then you are in that weird yes-take a step to grab a box then no-step back I don't need it phase. I am feel like I looked like a tourist staring at panda bears in the zoo! I am pretty sure everyone else thought I was mentally deranged in front of the condoms (because the large boxes of pads would negate the need for pregnancy tests).

On another fun "hopefully I am pregnant" symptom note...I am back to having STRANGE STRANGE dreams. Generally, of the sexual nature. Let's see in my dreams last night I was skinny (WOOT! WOOT!) wearing expensive lingerie having sex with my boyfriend in the first class airport lounge. Then another dream about having sex with my OLDER (like George Clooney older) boyfriend. Then other weird things I don't 100% remember.

On that note I shall finish because crazy sex dreams, stockpiling personal hygiene products and coveting pregnancy tests is pretty much the end of sanity for me.

Resisting The Pull!

I am sure it's way to early in the day to post and I will probably end up posting again *inserts sounds of horror and chaos here*.

I was able to resist the pull this morning so I am celebrating my 8th day of being home pregnancy test free! I feel like I need a pin or something. The girls are still sore but I can't tell if they are lessing in their size and pain. Which now has me thinking I am not pregnant. This morning Simon complained about how he keeps waking up congested. Well....crap! I was hoping to attribute mine to pregnancy symptoms but I guess I really can't since I am pretty sure only I get pregnant. And my sore throat is gone. I am not honestly not too heartbroken to see that one go. UGGH! Why do I have over analyze this???

Anywho! This morning I woke up a little bit frightened. Lucky, the cat, always sleep with me in my armpit. He is not a fan of Simon touching him when he is sleeping next to me in the morning. So this morning when Simon woke up, he reached over me and started patting him. Well he was one pissed off little kitty. I could feel his tail flicking against me. Then I open my eyes to find him staring me down like MAKE HIM STOP! Unfortunately, this isn't the first morning that I have woken up wondering if the cat is making an attempt on my life.

So I am going to go read my book and try and make it through the day without obsessing on the fact I am or am not pregnant. Yeah it's pretty sad when you're already obsessing on the sadness of not being pregnant. I have lost my tiny mind.

Peeing On Sticks

OH MY GOODNESS!!! All I want to do is pee on a stick! I want to take a home pregnancy test with every fiber of my being. The horrible part is I have a couple home pregnancy tests just sitting around waiting. I promised myself I was going to wait this time. I wasn't really going to test.

My original thought was testing on the 10th of February because I don't want to find out the hard way on my birthday. That would be the Friday before blood test on the following Monday. I am pretty sure that I would get an appropriate reading then. Also the doctor in the ER told me that it's pretty much concrete science that everyone gets a period 14 days after ovulation if they aren't pregnant. The 10th of Feb. would actually be 14 days after my IUI.

So what does one do to resist the urge? Well, I went on the internet hoping to find LOTS of common sense that said I had to wait and test would be futile. That is exactly what I didn't find! Apparently I one of millions of infertile women the world wide desperate to know as early as possible. Message boards, polls etc. all proclaiming women peeing on stick as early as 6 days after ovulation!!

I think as group (infertiles) we have descend to a new level called "tweaking". Women are posting pictures of their home pregnancy tests to have other "tweaking" them in photoshop to confirm to disconfirm the mystical second line that we all see after a while. I think I shall not be participating in this. But I am not above eating my own words if I do.

So where I stand is I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY want to take a test tomorrow morning. I would say my desire to take the test tomorrow is just under my desire to have a baby. But I am hoping I can hang in their until the 7th which is a Tuesday.

This next part is really more for me but if anyone else cares, I hope it helps.

My throat is killing me. It has been for a while now. I keep feeling mild cramping and twinges in my random areas but mainly in the ovaries. I am still awesomely bloated but more clothes are fitting. I am either WAY hungry or not all...go figure. And my lower back hurts. Now I could probably attribute each of theses symptoms to something else logically but I am hoping they are early pregnancy symptoms.

PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LET ME PREGNANT! PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Bipolar Emotions

Ohhhhh I have soooooooooo much to tell you (hopefully, actual readers and not the voices in my head) about!!!

First and absolutely foremost....MY BREASTS HURT!!! I thought they hurt last time but I am pretty sure this is topping last time. The problem doesn't really kick in until the afternoon. Don't get me wrong they hurt in the morning. I have to give myself a minor pep talk to put my bra on. If anyone or thing touches them it's tender. By the afternoon the bra is out to get me! Like I have managed to grow a size in 8 hours or perhaps I am one of those fat girls in denial and squish myself into a smaller size. The only relief is taking the evil device off. This results in the WORST BREAST PAIN EVER!!! The moment the girls are no longer supporting their own weight (equivalent to a small schnauzer) and gravity takes over they feel like they are being RIPPED off my body.

The rest of my symptoms, or lack there of, seem to point more towards PMS and failure. My face seems to be breaking out. I have started to feel really hungry. For example, I ate breakfast at 8:30 yesterday and was shaking for food at 11. I am still bloating. I think my undies gave me muffin top this morning. From researching (obsessing) early pregnancy symptoms, my missing friend cervical mucus is not a good sign either.

Today my friend announced that she is expected her first baby. For some reason I thought she was pregnant and was going to tell us at Julia's Christening. It turns out that she was actually pregnant and didn't want to say until she was past the 12 week mark. It goes without saying that I am very happy and excited for her. But that is not what I was feeling when she told us. I think I was numb for the first hour. Then it didn't seem to be such a shock because I was expecting her to tell us any time now. She has never kept it a secret that she wanted a baby soon.

Once the shock wore off I was still pretty confused. I literally went from high to low in the span of 1.9 seconds. I am in the middle of a cycle and I could be pregnant too! My symptoms totally point to NOT PREGNANT!! Now after thinking this through (trying to put coherent sentences together) I think this is a really, really bad thing. It only seems to have two outcomes right now. 1- We are pregnant together YEA!!!! 2- I will even worse if this fails.

I have been trying to write this post for over an hour now so I am stopping for tonight. Don't worry more crazy will follow tomorrow!

Babies Are Priceless

I am exhausted. I went into work today to begin getting everything ready for the first day of school on Friday. I completely forgot how tiring it is. My back hurts. My shoulders hurt. My arms hurt. And oddly my left heel hurts. But what hurts the most are the boobs. They don't particularly enjoy when Lucky decides to stand on them or walk across them.

I am still spot free and have been experiencing lots of little twinges. I'm really hoping this is a good sign. I am still not sure how confident I am. I want to be 1,000% sure and confident but I am afraid. I am still worried that I don't have lots of "early" symptoms like last time. My new friend cervical mucus has left the building. I am still worried about getting my hopes up. The other thing is a lot of people tend to know about this cycle so I potentially have to tell half a million people it failed. I really don't want to do that.

Yesterday, I fully indulged in baby obsessing. I allowed myself to "window" shop for baby products like car seats, strollers, bottles, and cribs. I also did some research on which of those products is the safest etc. It just totally reconfirmed how expensive those little miracles are. And now because I read 25,000 reviews and safety information, I won't be able to go back to just any old car seat. It has to be the highly expensive one and we most likely need two because heaven forbid Simon not have a car seat in his car. Basically, I began to lose my tiny mind about something that currently is an issue. Please tell me someone, anyone!, has done the same thing.

P.S. I can't afford a giveaway and I have no idea what I would give away but I thought I might try something for fun. I took a picture of my AWESOMELY bloated stomach last Friday after my IUI. I have been hmm-ing and ha-ing if I should post it. Leave me a comment and let me know what you think.

Let the 2 Week Wait Began...

Yesterday at 12 pm the doctor performed our IUI. It went amazing well. Our confidence was really high.

1. The head doctor preformed our IUI.

2. We were in a different room (yes, mildly superstitious)

3. IT DIDN'T HURT!!!!!!!

4. Simon had a great count. This has never been an issue for us THANK GOD!

5. The bed tilted back so I didn't have to support myself.

6. No spotting and only light cramping last night.

The very strange thing was that the doctor said everything looked perfect. He didn't mention a tilted cervix. So we are wondering if it untilted itself? Can that even happen?

But I wouldn't be certifiably crazy if my confidence wasn't starting to shake today. The reason, aside for just normal infertile craziness, is my symptoms don't seem to be as pronounced last time. The girls are still swollen and EXTREMELY sensitive. Last time it got worse and worse each day until the symptoms vanished about 10 days past the IUI. I am sorta glad they are no worse today than yesterday. Last night I was extremely bloated. I didn't own a single pair of pants that would fit my tummy. This made going out to dinner darn near impossible. I did manage to find a black pair of capris (pj bottoms) that I could get away with.

Hopefully, the boys have penetrated the castle walls by now and are getting ready to stick like cement to the uterus.

2 Weeks Of My Life In Pictures (Or Excerpts Of)

One of the things I love about my hubby is that he is just as goofy as me. In the process of cleaning up our guest room he came across the AWESOME sock monkey hat my mom got me for Christmas. So naturally he felt the need to put it on and come show me. I love that he makes me laugh at unexpected times.Simon finally broke down and got glasses. He isn't sure about how he looks in them. I think he looks nice. Of course he never smiles nicely for pictures but I am amazed I got a picture (even from a bad angle).

Normally, Sim and I have our friends over to our house to have dinner, play cards, and drink every other month or so but we haven't had a chance because of Christmas and Anna having the baby. We (the ladies) decided that we better meet up for lunch before school goes back.

On Wednesday, my friends Sharon (and the kiddos), Amanda, and I went over to Anna's house for lunch. I really had a great time. I got to hear all about Amanda and her honey getting engaged while they were in China. They are planning a wedding in SRI LANKA!!! We caught up on school gossip and I heard mommy horror stories. Did you know that babies cry for a month straight for no apparent reason and there is nothing you can do about it?! Seriously, apparently all babies do this and it's normal!!! I was freaking out, but holding this little cutie made it all go away. I couldn't help but giggle that her hair was standing on end.

CHEESE!

My Favorite Girls!

This what an 11 year old does in a house full of women!

Sharon and I have a tradition where we go to Costco during the breaks from school. It works out well for the both of us because I don't drive into the city and I feel like I am making good use of our membership. The kids LOVE coming, too! Between the giant (piled to the ceiling) stack of toilet paper and free food sample what's not to love?

By far the best part is all four of us eat lunch for under $20 which isn't even possible at McDonald's here. The first time we went I had to explain to Mitchell how big the pizza slices are. Sim struggles to eat the whole thing at times. He is always determined to eat the whole slice. We always have fun guessing what Zoe will pick to eat because she never likes it and won't eat more than two bites.

So for Mitchell's birthday he wanted to have lunch at Costco. I was extremely impressed when he ate his whole slice and about a third of Zoe's. His new nickname is Seagull because you can hardly finish your food before he wants what is left.

The cheeky and gorgeous Miss Z.

Photographic proof of the craziness from last week. I was so unorganized that I bought the wrapping paper on the way to Sharon's house and wrapped Mitchell's present on the trunk of my car.

My cat, Lucky, loves me and to be anywhere I am. He often feels the need to help me complete any household chore I am doing. And like all cats he enjoys sitting in locations he shouldn't be in.

What?! This is an inconvenient place to stand?

What you just wash, dried, and ironed these clothes?

Then, yes, I am required to sleep there and put cat hair all over them.

Happy Australia Day to my Australian friends and family! I am celebrating by having my own Katherine Heigl movie marathon... Knocked Up, Life As We Know It, 27 Dresses and the Ugly Truth!

P.S. The awesome side effects from triggering have started. Namely my boobs are LARGE and in charge! And seriously tender!!!!!!!!!!

The Internet Strikes Back!

Remember those up and downs I was worried about? I think it's very safe to say I am plummeting down the first dip in the roller coaster ride. For the past 2-3 days I have been really worried about ovulating early. Today the fear of early ovulation is pretty much eating me alive. Now I am worried that tomorrows IUI is totally for nothing.

I also was reading through my paperwork again to try and figure out my schedule for the next few weeks with school starting. They said they trigger when follicle size is larger than 14mm. That got me to thinking what sizes did other people trigger at. Now I don't feel confident about my eggs now. Everyone else in the states seems to have like 17 eggs and they are all bigger than my two 15's. It seriously makes me want to cry. So now I am worried about ovulating early and my follicle size.

I just had vent my fears but I do plan on posting (with pictures) of what I have been up to later tonight.

The countdown begins...

I am very excited to announce that last night was my last injection of Puregon. I trigger tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yesterday, Leith measured 2 follicles at 15 (one on each side) and 1 that was hiding that we couldn't really measure but was looking pretty big.

Australia Day is completely messing with everything. If they were open on Thursday I would have triggered last night and we would inseminate on Thursday. I am still a little concerned that the hiding egg will develop and I will end up with the triplets everyone keeps talking about.

We have also decided that we (Sim and I) are going to let ourselves be excited and get our hopes up. Apparently, hopes up or down it doesn't really matter if you fail in the end because it still hurts just as badly. I am just so tired of thinking "Don't get your hopes up!". I am sure there will be plenty of times during the two week wait that where I feel it didn't work. I still definitely scared after what happened last time but if I want to think about my future baby than I am going to DAMN IT!

I also got the definitive answer to my question that yes you can ovulate before you trigger. So I shall just add it to the list of worries next time.

I have lost my tiny mind AGAIN!

Lots has been happening at our house but I wouldn't say it was good. Apparently, my fears were founded. On Friday my scan revealed that my eggs had gone from dots to spots but nothing measurable.

Can I just tell you how this completely messes with my perfect plan? I was hoping that today or tomorrow we would have been completing the procedure and beginning the two week wait. Then I could have all my blood tests before kids came back to school. But we aren't.

But it has made way for brand new host of fears. Topping the list by a mile is over stimulation. I can't even begin to cope with the fact that I would have spent $700 plus medication plus gas money to lose it all. On top of the fact that every appointment I seem to mention my GIANT fear of over stimulation.

Now I go back on Tuesday and obviously I am hoping we can trigger that night. Here is where the next fear enters in. Thursday is a public holiday (stupid dumb Australia Day). We don't know if they will be open. If they are closed than I am screwed. Then I am sure that we will scan and find NOTHING happened. Can you see the cycle of crazy happening?

Finally, my last fear is that I have already ovulated. I don't know if I even could have. I am sure I will spend the next several hours on the computer looking it up on google instead of finishing my laundry. Naturally I could just have a bunch of sex to make sure but it's never that simple. For starters, Sim needs to store up his boys for at least 2 days but not more than 5 days. So if we do the procedure on Thursday than that means Sim would have to do something today. But he is currently away on a business trip. Just even rethinking all this makes me NUTS.

Another Lame Post

It’s been a heck of a past 24 hours here. Yesterday afternoon, I came home to make dinner only to discover 10s of thousands of ants streaming into my kitchen from my laundry room. They were absolutely everywhere and in everything. We stopped cleaning at 11 pm last night and it still wasn’t complete.

It’s been a very busy day at our house. I am still determined to get all the laundry done by Saturday but it’s starting to look more like Sunday. I have mopped the laundry floor twice to continue getting the chemicals up that my father in law sprayed. I finally broke down and went grocery shopping so we can eat a meal that isn’t cereal or grilled cheese.

On the infertility front, I am a lot worried for tomorrow’s bloods and scan. I was looking at my chart from last cycle and if I follow the same pattern then we are getting really close. Last cycle I injected 100 IU for 7 days and then 125 IUs for 5 days before triggering. Well I have already done the 100 IUs and I am on day 3 of 125 IUs. So naturally, I am completely worried that I either over stimulated or nothing is happening. Because let’s face it I am completely nuts!

On a totally different note, what the heck is with the mullet dresses or skirts. Every time I see one all I can think is “these fools have capes on for skirts”. I guess I never been considered fashion forward but I don’t think that can be considered fashion either.

The Ants Go Marching

I came home from being out all day long to find 10s of thousands of ants literally invading my kitchen. They were EVERYWHERE!!! Even found them in cabinets and the dishwasher. After 4 hours I have finally cleaned 97% of the kitchen up. I am in pain and out of my tiny mind. I shall fill you all in later.

Extender Seat Belt for the Crazy Town Bus

Here is how I planned today to go...

7:30 am - Get up and get ready to go to the clinic

8:30 am- Leave for the clinic

9:30 am- Scan and blood test

10:45 am - Drop Sim off at work

11:15 am - Swim

12:15 pm- Shower and eat lunch

12:45 pm- Make cupcakes for Mitchell's birthday tomorrow

ME TIME!! (probably take a nap)

5:00 pm- Eat something before Pilates

5:40 pm- Leave for Pilates

6:15-7:45 pm Pilates

8:00- Pick up Simon from work and head home

This is how it went

7:30 am -Get up and get ready to go to the clinic

8:30 am- Leave for the clinic

9:30 am- Get to the clinic and rush to the bathroom because I have drank lots of water so they can actually get the blood out of my body (I made the top 5!)

9:35- Scan

9:45- NEW PLANS!!! Rush to Slade Pharmacy in the hospital in the city.

10:25- Fight for parking in the city and rush into the pharmacy-more on that in a moment

11:15- Drop Simon off at work and head back to the clinic

12:15- Stop at the clinic for 30 seconds

12:16- Head home

12:17- USA FOODS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2:30- Return home.

Everything was going really well until my appointment. The scan showed lots of little eggs but nothing special or measurable. The scan also really friggin' hurt! It definitely felt like more than just a fairy princess wand was being shoved up there and waved around. The best news is I didn't spot post scan. Thank goodness for tiny miracles.

Then Leith told me that I would have to go get my Puregon from the pharmacy and it would probably take a day or two to get it ordered in. WHAT THE FUCK?! I pretty much lost my shit on the spot and was completely speechless. Then she asked me how much I had left. NONE! NADA! NIL! So she assured me that Slade Pharmacy in the city would have some. I was panicking and Simon figured out the directions.

We dashed (drove forever!) into the city to the hospital and drove around forever trying to find a spot to park. We handed over the script and waited and waited. Then they dropped the bomb on us. THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY PUREGON!!!!! This lead to a lot of confusion and debate between the pharmacist, Sim and I. We were at a hospital. How could they not even have one friggin' dose for tonight??? Well they don't. And to top it off the trigger medication is backordered until MARCH!!!!! I just wanted to cry because at this point this cycle is looking like a bust.

What happened next was really, really ugly. Simon started to get frustrated (his words not mine). He wanted me to start ringing around the city to different pharmacies to see if I could locate the drugs. I was fine with that but I wanted to talk to Leith first because she had said most places don't carry it and sent us here. Of course that went to voicemail. At this point Simon is expressing his "frustration" by growling at me and saying " We are wasting our time here! Let's go!!!" in the middle of a busy pharmacy. The lady still had my prescription and medical card (can't leave those) and she was trying to order the Puregon. Simon pretty much lost his shit and continued to carry on. Even resulting in him throwing money at me. It was ugly.

I resigned to the fact that I wasn't going to be able to take any medication until tomorrow and this cycle was pretty much screwed. I was ready to cry and feeling EXTREMELY low. I needed Simon to step up and be comforting. NOT BE AN ASSHOLE! Then he is all angry that they didn't tell us earlier so we could order the medication (I agree) but yelling at me isn't going to solve the problem. I called Leith again and explained the situation. By the grace of God, she had one unopened 300 IU left and when could I get there? We quickly drove Simon back to work and I headed back to the clinic (45 minutes away).

I was all ready to head home to cry and sleep. Then I remember how I handle stress. Do you know what the opposite of stressed is? If you said relaxed you are wrong. Desserts is the opposite of stressed. I simply adore eating my emotions. All I wanted more than anything was American comfort food. I was very luck to be 7 minutes away from the American grocery store. They didn't have everything I wanted but they had enough. I got my chocolate cake, Dr. Pepper and marshmallows for s'mores. Basically between bloating and eating my emotions my butt is going to grow enough to require me to buy new pants.

So I am half way through the day and only imagine what the second half of my day will hold. I better go take a nap to power up for the second half.

Office of the Department of Missing Socks

I really don't know if forgetfulness is an actual side effect of Puregon but from this moment on I officially declare it a side effect. I had full intentions of coming back last night to write the other half of wardrobe meltdown but I didn't. I totally thought I would remember today but I don't!! This is starting to get super annoying. BEYOND annoying!!! And I am without a doubt sure you are tired of listening to me complain about forgetting things.

I will start with my infertility news because I am sure that is far more exciting than the rest of this post will be. Tonight marks 7 days of injections which means we go in tomorrow for blood tests and scans to see what the heck is happen in the old ovaries. I am really really worried in typical panicky fashion. Here are the top three things I worry about:

1. NOTHING is happening and I have just wasted 7 days (this happened last time)

2. LOTS has happened and I am completely overstimulated and we have to cancel this cycle. There would be no words for the devastation I would feel. I would most like grab a bottle of my favorite alcohol and disappear for a while.

3. That this amount of Puregon was enough to grow an egg or eggs. Then my body kicked in naturally and I ovulated already without having sex. Where this comes from I am not totally sure. My guess is all that crap about cervical mucus. I should totally go on record that I only bought into the cervical mucus crap for about a week. I am too grossed out by it! But I can definitely tell when I am feeling a little dry (WITHOUT CHECKING!!!)

Needless to say I am definitely worried about tomorrow. I am don't know if there is a good news scenario tomorrow. The best news would be if we triggered tomorrow night. Then I could try and get through the two week wait before school starts. Wait that isn't a good news scenario because if it fails or I get the period from hell again...not a great way to start the new school year. This is all so complicated.

The night before we had dinner at my in laws. Alana my gorgeous future sister in law made us all dinner. Her and Mick (BIL) got a puppy and named him Bob. Mick wanted to name their future son Bob and Alana said I will compromise and name the dog Bob. I think she made a good call. We started talking about baby names and how both of us had girl's names picked out but were completely stumped over boys names.

So yesterday my resolve broke and I gave into baby fever. I started thinking about how we can never really settle on middle names. I decided to google middle names and stumbled across the baby name genie. I have never laughed so hard in a long, long time. You put in your last name and it "grants" your wish for the perfect name for your baby. Here are some of the perfect names we will not be naming our child: Shelby Dominique, Shreya Brook, Tanya Jenna, Candance Vivian, Dylan Presely...etc. I think some of these names are really pretty by themselves or with a different name. They also DON'T go with our last name. If you really want a good giggle head on over. I should also say it did come up with a couple of good ones. I am not totally opposed to Catherine Sarah.

In regular life news, I have finally caught the "get my crap done!" bug. It most likely stems from what I saw yesterday afternoon when I got home from the pool. My husband decided he would lend a hand by cleaning up our bathroom for me. I have learned that if my husband is going to clean NEVER criticize. Criticizing wasn't so much the problem versus laughing. Husband logic says that if the floors are made of tile and I mop it than I can also mop the shower because it is made of tiles. That is exactly what he was doing when I came in. Mopping our shower with my exfoliation soap (I wasn't even going to ask).

I am beyond determined to not have a single item of clothing out of place by Saturday. That is my mission today and all of this week. I want to get everything clean, iron, folded or hung, dry cleaned, organized, and sorted. I had to spend 10-15 minutes today hunting every square inch of my house looking for missing socks. Socks are the bane of my laundry existence! It seems that even though they are worn in pairs they NEVER all come out the dryer in pairs. No, I don't think the dryer eats them. The problem is they NEVER make it to the washer in pairs. One always seems to get shoved under the bed, wrapped in a towel or left in a gym bag. To me NOTHING is more annoying than thinking you have washed all the jammies, undies, and socks only to find one you missed!

Even better is the Golden Globes are on!!! I love watching award shows...I always have even as a small child. It's always so glamorous and I love trying to predict who will win. Especially in Australia, it helps (or sometimes makes it worse) my homesickness. I feel like I can still be part of something I always used to do.

Just a quick note...I so want to start including more pictures in my post. Just as soon as I get new batteries for my camera.

Wardrobe meltdown part one

I have had a pretty busy weekend. Well, the busiest it has been before Christmas and for me.

Yesterday, Sim and I were invited to Julia's Christening. Julia is my friend Anna's ADORABLE little girl. They're Russian Orthodox which was a experience to behold. I knew from their wedding that they do everything in threes which makes the service a little long and you stand for the entire thing. Julia was such a good girl. She hardly cried at all until they "slam dunked" her in the baptismal "pond. After they stripped her down, the Priest took her and laid her face down with her head in his palm and body along his arm. Then they dunked her whole body 3 times head first into the pond.

Simon didn't up going because of a diva moment. Getting ready at our house is always an epic battle. For the amount of clothing we have, finding an appropriate outfit shouldn't be a problem. Sadly, about 50% of the time one of us has a major wardrobe problem.

I was hoping we would have warm weather this weekend and Simon could wear his nice dress shorts. I was under the impression that he had nice dress pants as well but apparently he doesn't. Instead he wanted to wear his suit pants and I thought that would be way too dressy. So he put on his brand new Tommy Hilfiger polo and dress shorts.

When we pulled up to the church all the other guys were in suit pants and nice shirts. Simon threw a massive fit. Going on about how he was underdressed and it was all my fault. And how he really wanted to go but now he was going to miss it. Oh and it's all my fault because I made him wear shorts. In the end he went home and I went inside with my friend Sharon and her kids.

After the Christening, Sim came and got me because we had to go to his friend's 30th birthday party. She was having in the park near our house which was very good for us. The weather had gotten even colder and the wind picked up so we dashed home for a quick wardrobe change. The weather got even worse and we didn't stay more than 2 hours which was fine by me. We ended up going over to Simon's parent's house and the future sister in law made us all dinner.

I feel like there has been lots of other things I have been wanting to write about but keep forgetting. Don't you just hate when that happens? Oh well!

Elastic waistbands-CHECK!

Nothing exciting happened today. I still haven't found my groove to organize the rest of my house and my summer vacation is quickly disappearing so I had probably get my butt in gear.

I think I am starting to have some side effects from the Puregon. I am still having crazy dreams. Last night I dreamt about my assistant principal putting two 6th grade boys into my first grad class because they are butt heads (actually they are worse than butt heads but I am trying to be nice).

Other side effect seems to be bloating. Today was pretty cold here and I needed to wear jeans. I had to suck it in when I put them on and I had muffin top for the first hour or so of wearing them. I guess this means I am getting back in pool.

Is forgetfulness a side effect? Last night Sim was yelling at me to roll over because I was snoring and I realized I didn't inject myself. HOLY COW!!! Two nights in a row. He also called and asked if I could pick up his prescription from the pharmacy. I totally forgot. We had just gotten home for going out to dinner and I had to turn around and go out again. I hate that!! Luckily, I remembered to stab myself tonight. I say stab because tonight it HURT and I bleed. Now I remember why I didn't use to be so excited.

This is a weird week where there was a full moon and Friday the 13th all in the same week. I don't normally buy into that sort of thing but I have a cat and teach small children. My cat has been on a rampage lately. Today he decided that he would eat an invitation. Every time I yelled at him to stop he gave me that "come and take it from me! I dare you!" look.

So that is my exciting life today. Pretty lame huh?