Missing In Action...My Tiny Mind

So life has been a combination of boring but stressful. I am not sure how those two things go together but apparently in my world they do. I am still stressed out trying to write reports and do justice to each child in my class. Realistically I am sure every parent just quickly skims over the words I spend so much time and energy writing. As a result all my evenings are spent working on them instead of relaxing, cooking or house cleaning. The consequence of leaving Simon in charge of those things is that they usually don't happen leaving me even more stressed. It's a horrible cycle of stress.

A long time ago I signed up for a Professional Development that was last Thursday with Sharon and Anna. It was free with dinner and the topic seemed relevant at the time so it seemed like a good idea at the time. Afterwards we stood around in the parking lot discussing all the craziness going down at school because Sharon has been home sick and her little girl has the chicken pox. Then after Anna went home we started talking about the craziness in our personal lives. Some how the topic of my infertility came up and I started to cry. I lost it right there and then in a public parking lot. It all came flooding out and not just the infertility things. I was a hot mess.

A small part of my sanity seems to have returned to allow me to function at the most basic level. Here is a funny story to emphasis just how far gone I am. At school we tell the kids to sit with the 6 L's basically sit nicely with your hands in your lap and shut up. Well at about 3:30 am between Thursday and Friday Lucky was snuggling up to my neck. It wasn't comfortable and I wanted him to stop so I said "Lucky 6 L's!".

In an effort to put off report writing I did some online research about IUI and IVF. I am pretty sure I shit a kitten when I saw the out of pocket costs. Simon has had a constant headache since. I should probably take myself down to the street corner to start earning the money. Better yet I could take my left over metformin and try to sell it on the street as clomid.