I feel totally stupid!

Today is cd34. Still no sign of a period. So of course this morning as I lie in bed thinking about actually getting up I started over interpreting "symptoms". Like wondering have I been going to the bathroom more than normal?

The totally stupid part is I don't know what to do! When we met with doctor to start this past cycle he said that I could just call to get the results of my cd21 blood test and the nurse could let me know if I should increase the clomid. Then I could just pick up the new script and not have to miss work for an appointment. So I guess my assumption and possibly his is that I would actually get a friggin' period. I suddenly find the fact that I WANT a period hysterically funny.

So I spent half the day wanting to call the doctor but not because I didn't want him to think I was a total idiot aka...you don't deserve children you infertile moron. It didn't help that Simon frustrated me to NO END!!! I almost threw him out of the house. The man said we were going to spend the day together. Therefore, I spent heaps of time getting ready this morning. I shaved my legs and actually did my hair. But we didn't go out. He told me over and over again that he wasn't leaving the house today and he rather listen to the Bulls basketball game on his friggin iPhone! Even if he didn't originally say we would go out, wouldn't you think to take your super cute wife out?!

So I gave in to the crazy and started searching the internet for cute baby clothes. At first I told my deluded self that I was looking for a present for my pregnant friend and pregnant cousin in law both who are due in the next few weeks. Then it quickly dissolved into me looking for my future child almost going as far as to buy something! I guess losing my tiny mind helped though because I finally gave in and made an appointment to see the doctor. Granted I didn't have the courage to mention anything that was going on. I just said I needed an appointment.

Oh and for giggles...here was the super life altering advice of my horoscope today.

"What are you doing here? What are you suppose to be achieving and accomplishing? Ought you be working harder? You are beginning to doubt yourself. You are losing faith in a plan that once inspired you. That's largely because it is proving more difficult than you expected it to be." Well, if that ain't one big cosmic slap to the forehead. DUHHH!