I have been trying to get on top of the laundry situation but last night disaster struck. We discovered something had fallen down between the laundry tub and the back of the washing machine. It created one all mighty mess for me to clean up today. Moments after the washing machine disaster, I found ants crawling all over everything in our pantry. We don't have open food or anything like that in there so I have no idea why they are in there. But now I have to deal with that.
When we moved into this house I promised myself that I would keep it in tip top condition. EPIC FAIL! Now I am just angry at myself for letting this happen. I know I will be on a mission these next couple of weeks to get everything back up to my standard. Simon took this week off to try and do projects around the house with me but all that he has managed is to piss me off. He literally sits on the couch or in a chair and watches basketball or cricket all damn day long. Now I completely understand that we had 2 days of hotter than the fires of hell weather. But today??!!! I can't wait for him to go back to work so I can achieve something.
If I had baby on the brain yesterday, then I don't know what to call today. It's been even more intense today. I'm just so frustrated. For once in my life I just wish I had a normal period like everyone else. I wish I knew how long my cycle was or even know that I ovulated every month. I thought taking December off would be a good thing and the wait didn't seem that long. News flash for me!!!! Waiting to start the next round of IUI is even worse than the two week wait! At least during the two week wait I felt like there was a purpose to my waiting.
One thing I have been totally loving is sleeping in. I think sleeping in one thing I look forward to the most. Thank you summer vacation. However, right now it's leaving me lots of time to surf the internet. So much that I managed to get bored on pinterest (who knew that could happen?!). And thanks to Pinterest I feel like the most inadequate woman particularly in the organization/decoration department. Now I have to keep up with the Joness, the Smiths, the Collins etc.
One summer in college I stayed alone in our apartment basically to hold it for the next year and because I had summer classes. I found myself spending a lot of time on the internet because I was bored out of my mind. One day I decided that I was just going to go for a walk. It was a good way to pass the time. Eventually, one walk lead to two walks. Two walks lead to a longer walk. A longer walk lead to one long walk in the morning and a long walk in the afternoon. I never really lost lots of weight (F**K You PCOS) but I enjoyed it.
The feeling struck again today. The lethal combination of baby on the brain and enormous amounts of time only result in me reading infertility blogs. I know I have said it all before so I won't put you through the pain of hearing me say it again. The good news is I finally had enough of that too. I decided that instead of sitting here being depressed over what I can't force to happen, I was getting the hell out of the house. The only bad part is I didn't really have the positive feelings at the end like I use to. However, I am not sure I am suppose to expect magic after a 40 minute walk. I am going to make a commitment to myself to give it 21 days. If I can't have a baby than I can at least fit into the wardrobe I love!
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