It all started last night. I felt like I was constantly getting up (3 different times) to use the bathroom. I normally go after I feed the cat before I crawl back in bed but this felt excessive. Then I started to wonder "hmmm could I be pregnant?"
Then a very nice teacher at work asked how I was doing. I said I was feeling tired and he said I looked tired!!!!! Now match that with the fact that I fell asleep at the drop of a hat last night 3 different times starting at 8:00. I haven't been over doing it because I am not doing most of the teaching. First, I thought "could I have mono?" Second thought was I am pregnant.
Tonight as Simon was picking me up from work all I wanted to do was spew chunks! Sudden nausea. The tiny (hippo sized!) delusional thoughts began. What if I was pregnant from the last cycle and the home pregnancy tests just weren't showing up positive yet? Oh MY GOD!! I took Provera to give me my period. I just took another massive round of Clomid!! What could I have done to my unborn child? Yes notice at this point I am convinced I am pregnant.
So Simon heads off to get his hair cut. I head off to find a Sprite and pee stick. Yes, at 6:00pm this very evening I bought yet another First Response Home Pregnancy Test. I guess my only saving grace is that I haven't used it yet. My plan is use it tomorrow when I do my ovulation prediction pee stick! Why pee on 1 when you can pee on 2?! If one bird in the hand is better than 2 in the bush that what is the home pregnancy test equivalent?
Now because this story is too good to be true...
Due to my home pregnancy test addiction, I am very knowledgeable in the location of such devices. They're trusty location can be found between the Advil and tampons. Some stores are between the tampons and the diapers... logical if you think about it.
So I was feverishly searching in the proper location. What NO pregnancy tests?!!? This can't be. I walked up and down the aisle like a caged tiger ready to pounce. Seconds from causing an international incident an older gentleman (early 60's?) took a few steps to the left. BINGO! With no concern for him I quickly reached around and grabbed my coveted pack. Oh, I should mention Simon was with me now.
With the test safely in my hands I proceed to take in the rest of the scene. The older gentleman is surveying the condoms. Picking different packages up and reading the box then returning them to the shelf. We share a silent giggle and walk towards the register. Simon says, " Do you think we wants to make water balloons?". Images of a vigara induced weekend of old wrinkle sex flashes through my mind. EWWW!
Not more than 2 minutes later the older gentleman is one lane over purchasing not 1 but THREE BOXES of condoms. I am not talking small boxes with a few in each. TWENTY-FOUR!!!!! I seriously hope he doesn't put a hip out. To make matters even funnier... his keychain said Mr. NOISY!!!
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