It's my infertility and I will cry if I want to!!

Today I have been on a roller coaster of emotions today. Anxious to sad to livid to numb and everything in between. We met with Dr. Weston today to discuss the next step which is IUI. The best news is we get to keep him as our doctor but since we are in the university program we now have to work out of the other office which is about an hour or so away. Generally going to see Dr. Weston makes me feel better. Today, I just wanted to cry. I don't know why because I knew exactly what we were going to be talking about. Today I just felt defeated.

We got the "welcome" book and paperwork to fill out. Now I have about 17 more things to add to my list of things to do and one was an unwelcome surprise.

1. Police background checks for each of use at $32 a piece. It will take about 4 weeks for this to happen and no treatment can be started without it. Yeah for more waiting.

2. Counseling appointment- WTF!!! I don't need this. I know I'm about one sandwich short of a picnic most of the time. Is this lady going to tell me I am too mental now to have a baby?!- Insert rage and indignation here. On the bright side we managed to get an appointment for next week. This will cost us another $100.

3. Make appointment with Dr. Weston's nurses about injectables and all. This will cost us $700- completely dirt cheap by infertility standards.

4. Deal with the massive phobia my husband and I both share for needles.

5. Deal with the possibility that we might not get one round in before my trip to the states in September.

So yes that is where I am at. I'm really starting to feel judged and the big finger is pointing down on me with neon signs flashing INFERTILE! INFERTILE! Not to mention I think I saw every pregnant or newborn within a 15 mile radius at the mall today.