Hope Is A Bitch I know

First, can I just say how much I hate that I don't have internet at home. We didn't get a phone book this year and I thought it was good because I would just have to recycle it or build a giant tower or something. Now it's HORRIBLE. Because when you don't have a phone book or the Internet you can't look up phone numbers.

Second I apologize for the awesome quality of the posts lately. Not my best work I know.

Now on to my frienemy Hope. Hope is beautiful and thin and everything that is right it world. She hops out of bed in the morning with nary a hair out of place or pillow wrinkles on her cheek. She never has to wear her fat jeans and everyone loves her.

What you may not know is Hope is a bitch! She makes you believe that your breasts feel like they are being ripped off because you are pregnant. She convinces you that you are utterly exhausted because you are jump starting human life in your uterus of doom. "The cramping and light spotting are implantation she," says. She has you thinking about the little baby that might be around for next Christmas and what you might name them. She gets you thinking about cute outfits and cuddles. But when Hope is wrong she is NO WHERE to be found. She never takes the blame. All along you try to not get attached. You try and hang out with your friend Realistic. Somehow she slowly creeps in.

So that is where I am at. I am seesawing between hope and certainty that this worked. Then I go crashing down wondering if the pilates I did last night hurt my chances because I am just a little bit crazy. I am so afraid of what will happen if this didn't work. I know what will happen but I am just not prepared for it. And stupid Hope has convinced I don't have anything to worry about.